Monthly Archives: January 2020




Clover in red shoes, the blisters are forming. Receptacle for left ears, motion of a teal bunion forming on our frogs. Its not poisonous but the tongue projects out far enough to reach Ricky’s. Acceptance for the roof thats otherwise displaying window screams that force out tink. Otherwise Del forgets his coat on his way to a campus football game and ends up with a nasty cold, which is worsened when Sanford takes his sick friend ice-fishing and throws a cigar-smoking party. I don’t own a cat but have a question for anyone who does. Is it true a cat is only as good as its catnip? By good i mean you could put your cat on a leash and take it to a youth soccer game, maybe it observes a few orange peels. I just saw a woman who walked like a Bratz doll and it was the best that happened all day. Whats in the bag? A redhead riding a centipede, a bottle of water and a can of beer. The redhead rides the centipede onto the water and the beer just watches. thing does growling, hissing at birds, thing does pigeon dance, pigeon waddles down the belly, green ghost hosting themed dance party, green post bounces off expired flour, thing adjusts flour to form a pigeon, pigeon enters flour and uses cloak to steal microwave casserole. Nigel & Shadow & Pennywise all canoe ingredients for kibble down the creek, looking for hungry hippos and only finding maxed out credit cards in the hands of Yerba. Yerb follows the path through hollowed trees, baking mission tortilla and exfoliating Santa. Raw Clyde pacing thru the fast food as organs blast water to clean the siding, Clyde wants a negative balance. He seeks overdrawn bank accounts, credit cards stacked to pluto, credit lines to Timbuktu, student loans to Pennsylvania, murky bogs to ostrich neck waldo marina, sap in. Crypto flavor but the landlord waffled a panko trombone under breezy insurance salesmen holding tomatoes, squeezing out ragu, laughing with sauce and moving in alleys under the moon, baking a slip next to the kiln and slowly corning their favorite enemies covered in soda and wax. the perfect time to ask for a raise is when your boss is meowing in the break room. In the song Kokomo when they say “everybody knows a place like Kokomo” they mean a tarp shed. If only i could pretzel myself into a tire shape. Then id be able to roll around like a wheel. Lucky for me dr. has installed FLEX BONES 500. When i put lettuce in a sub its called a sandwich but when i put lettuce around a sub its called a 100lb bag of cicadas opening in the foyer. On rt 78 east bound mile marker 14 there is a bale of hay between the right and center lane. If the department store Century 21 is still around in the year 2101 i can only pray that they change their name to Forever Century 21. A fridge with too many doors would make a good maze. I’ve met a few people named Rick but none compare to Cheers, Rick he is truly the devils treat after corn. If you spit into a coffee while chewing Nicorette gum it smells just like peppermint mocha. I want each of my immediate family to inheret my three copies of 24k magic by bruno mars on cd. Sweat is the cologne of it’s not a meal unless there are sides. Sides are the cologne if you pour gravy on yourself. There are few, if any, jobs in which ability is sufficient. Needed, also, are clubs, spikes, rotten teeth and seven dollars. An old man jumping around and celebrating I know that avatar body because that avatar body is his son. oh that pesto-slathered key cleaner Sure, thats right next to the Econo Lodge just make a left at Animal News and take the steps up to Miami. Eek.. the biggest house cat I’ve ever seen just called the fire department for me. This is the true story of a carrot and a basket and a car. The basket belonged to the carrot. The car might have been yours or the baskets. as a Bruce Springsteen fan I have not eaten since birth waiting 4 the right meal & what better time 2eat than now with Taco Bell’s boss wrap. my tarot cards said u would contact me through Instagram. I will live with u in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If u don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own lace dolphin. All these face app photos are being used to predict the effects of storming Area 51. With a photo of us old the government be able to identify our aged bodies before they astral project to Narnia. If I ever saw Mark Cuban on the street and I gave him a little bit of my blood to allow me to be on Shark Tank my pitch would be a Fitbit for conservatives that instead of counting up to 10k steps daily it counts down from 10k. If furniture can’t be held ransom then why do I get such a rush of adrenaline when i sit on the couch? I end up immediately standing and cannot enjoy the couch. This was always a problem at Unclaimed Freight. Thanks to Sollog’s 🔚nevermind🔜 pills ive forgotten all including word. King, spry, herman, freund & faul LLC. Wow, rly great meet Mark Cuban today. Hoping he enjoys the small portion of blood I gave him because asked for it. Had the strangest morning, Mark Cuban was on our porch begging for my blood again. Asked staples to print out each frame of the film Atlantis: Lost Empire and they referred me to Dr. Kevorkian.

Did you find your precious object? They gave me the boot, but without laces. 4th of july with a nurse. This guy once said to me “you a cop?” right as he pulled out his one hitter. So i said “im your parole officer” His one hitter morphed into a badge and he said trick question “im a cop, i patrol Atlantis” so i ran and hid under my invisibility cloak. Hes still after me and i probably shouldnt be saying this but his name is arnold schwarzenegger. My dog is a T-1000. My cat is a T-800 and my fish works at Teen Mobile. The doorbell to my basement is chipped. Gavin Newsom broke my doorbell with a John Connors hammer. Mr. Newsom yelled as he smashed my doorbell “its not affirmative its no problemo” lucky for him this was actually the password to get into the basement. So i let the puddle in and i let him be governor of California. “Mr. Gavin why do you look like my favorite evangelical preacher joel osteen?” I said to the puddle. He replied “my hair is perfect and my teeth are white because my sink is worth 27k” so i said “what got you interested in politics?” And he said “One of my early interactions with government occurred when I resisted the San Francisco Health Department requirement to install a sink at my PlumpJack wine store. The Health Department argued that wine was a food and required the store to install a $27,000 sink in the carpeted wine shop on the grounds that the shop needed the sink for a mop. When Newsom was later appointed supervisor, he told the San Francisco Examiner: “That’s the kind of bureaucratic mayonnaise I’m going to be working through.” I said wow ok, can i offer you a campaign slogan?” and he said “no problemo pal, im a flipping puddle, ill need all the help i can get to win the the election” so i offered him the only slogan i knew “”Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa?” – Used by James G. Blaine supporters against Grover Cleveland. The slogan referred to the allegation that Cleveland had fathered an illegitimate child. When Cleveland was elected, his supporters added “Gone to the White House, Ha, Ha, Ha!”

Mr. Newsom said “but i dont have an illegitimate child” i said “dad… im your illegitimate child” and he said “son, i love you, heres a pack of cigarettes, now get the fuck away from me” i said “dad, i want a flipping bike and some triscuits with muenster cheese” he said “i dont feed my children or give them elite transportation” i said “ok dad” and havent seen him since that sad day. Poor dad, a puddle governor. But my slogan got him into office and he made me chair of tables, ladders and cage matches.